House TalkN is a fun lookiloo at houses, houses, houses. It will answer pressing questions like, "When folks build a McMansion on a small lot, what are they compensating for?" or "Was the real estate agent drunk when they staged this house?" or "Why don't the Smiths' ever leave their drapes open when I am on a harmless walk-by?"

Sunday, January 8, 2012

The Termite Scare!

My husband and I have a long history of overreacting. 
There was my mister's "beard cancer" scare of '08. (shockingly, we never found data on "beard cancer")
There was the "OMG, the house is on fire!" scare of '11. (sensitive "burnt meatloaf" incident)
There was the "I have a tumor on the back of my leg!" scare. (my friend and neighbor was called in and promptly identified a varicose vein.)

There was the lice scare, the West Nile scare, the suspicious smell scare, the leukemia scare, the "is that mouse poop?!" scare,  and last week, the termite scare!
I was packing away Christmas decorations when I noticed a dead critter. A dead critter is better than a living critter, but a critter none the less.
Since I didn't recognize this critter, I immediately leapt to the worst possible scenario. It must be a termite! 
This teeny caramel colored devil put me in a tailspin.

I did what all wise women do. I freaked. I spent an entire evening reading everything I could on termites. (When you have a termite scare, feel free to give me a ring-a-ling!)
While most termite images looked like this:
Dark bodied with or without wings.





I found one expert that indicated they could be caramel color. 
Then, I read the worst possible sentence ever written. "There are two kinds of houses. Ones that have had termites and one that haven't had them YET." I am going to find the author of those words and hurt him in a bad way. 


Nevermind that I didn't find any of these:
Red flag, Termite tunnel!



Nevermind that I didn't find any of these:

Nevermind that my friend and decorator/contractor/designer extraordinaire (click here to meet Karen) assured me that she saw no sign of termites, 


I still imagined that my house was invaded with these:
THE BUFFET IS OPEN!!!!!!!



I called and left a message for TLC, Pest Control, trying not to sound like a complete raging freaker outer. 
It wasn't embarrassing AT ALL that the person who called me back, Tom Krouse, happened to be someone we know from our kid's baseball scene. Someone I'll see in social settings. There will be laughing and pointing, I'm sure. 
It wasn't embarrassing AT ALL that my bug in a baggie turned out to be a "may fly"- familiar to everyone on the planet but me. 
Tom did not roll his eyes or sigh heavily. Even though my "evidence" turned out to be a may fly, he still gave the house a once over. He showed me where to look and explained what to look for. There were some suspicious spots around the garage to "keep an eye on."  
Our big find was a beer can behind my mister's grill. A-ha! 
"Oh, that's mine, sorry."
What a relief that the termite scare of 2012 has ended. 


Link Par-taay at:
http://www.homestoriesatoz.com/



5 comments:

  1. Are we the same person? Neat freaks and anxiety superwomen? I'm glad it is not termites.

    Our house was filled with them when we bought it. We are in Florida so termites love it here but the house itself was fine, the hardwood floors were the only things that took a beating. Whenever I see any bug now I automatically scrutinize it to make sure it is not the termites coming back...that or any other house eating creature that might exist that I don't know of. ;)

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  2. Here in the south, they are not "termite scares" they are "termite fer-realz." We have to get our house treated yearly. (And even brick houses are not safe, I found out the hard way when I had to fork over $1500.)

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  3. This post made me laugh so hard. You can NEVER be too careful when it comes to the critters.

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  4. I have to say those photos are disgusting. But I gotta get me an Anxiety Girl t-shirt...

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  5. Whew! That's a relief. I'm a fellow worrier, so I totally get your anxiety attacks. Maybe we should start a support group. ;D BTW, I am hosting a giveaway for a great clock on my blog. Pop over if you'd like to enter. Good luck & thanks so much for following Pixie Dust.

    Warmly, Michelle

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