House TalkN is a fun lookiloo at houses, houses, houses. It will answer pressing questions like, "When folks build a McMansion on a small lot, what are they compensating for?" or "Was the real estate agent drunk when they staged this house?" or "Why don't the Smiths' ever leave their drapes open when I am on a harmless walk-by?"

Monday, April 16, 2012

Ladies, Trim Your Bushes!

Now that spring is here and summer is just around the corner, it's time to start thinking about our bushes!
I don't know about you, but "bush maintenance" is not a top priority for me in the winter.
It's time to tidy up, trim our bushes and get our summer groove on!
I am here to walk you through the bush maze!


                                 Source: ambergrayphotography.com via Kerry on Pinterest

While this is a lovely quality bush, it is quite overgrown.




                                                                    Source: images.search.yahoo.com via Kerry on Pinterest


There might be a perfectly lovely place on the other side of this bush, but I can't see passed the unkempt and overgrown mess! This curb appeal shouts "DON'T COME HERE!"

                                              Source: images.search.yahoo.com via Kerry on Pinterest

There are so many options on how to shape your bush! Here are just a few of your choices:


1. The easy to maintain, "traditional triangle" shape.

                                                                          Source: images.search.yahoo.com via Kerry on Pinterest


2. The "unique shape" bush. This requires more upkeep and is for the trendsetter in the crowd.

                                                                  Source: images.search.yahoo.com via Kerry on Pinterest


3. The "modest" bush. This is the bush that lets the rose shine, a supportive bush.

                                                                    Source: encoreuneminute.tumblr.com via Kerry on Pinterest

4. The "fancy blooming" bush. This particular bush is called "The Brazilian Glory"!

                                                                     Source: us.mc830.mail.yahoo.com via Kerry on Pinterest

Here is the perfect example of how bush shape and placement can frame a beautiful home.

                                                                       Source: interiorsdigital.com via Kerry on Pinterest

Now, get out there and trim those bushes! 
Remember, safety first. Whether you are using an electric trimmer or the manual clippers, be careful!
You don't want to go all "Edward Scissorhands"!

Image Detail

115 comments:

  1. Awesome! Just did some some trimming yesterday. ;)
    And love your new blog design. Ellen

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  2. Ba ha ha!! Love the bush design choices!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, Janel! It was a nervous "publish"!

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  3. Totally made me snort. I'm sure that had nothing to do with the 2 margaritas I had to drink earlier or the Fuzzy Navel I'm sucking down right now. Nothing at all.

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  4. And I'm terribly disappointed that there is not a vlog attached to this post. The horror.

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  5. that is some serious dedication to detail to find all those great bush examples for this public service announcement...there should be a civil service medal you get nominated for or something for your hard work ;)

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    Replies
    1. TARA! Finally, someone recognizes my efforts! I am a giver.
      Thank you.

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  6. Too funny and very informative, I wasn't aware that there were that many types of bushes. This may require some further research and some trimming. :)

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    1. A friend of mine injured herself last week, so I felt compelled to share this PSA! BE SAFE!

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    2. OWWWWWWWWW really? OW OW OW OW to the thought of that. *crosses legs*

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  7. I actually gave up on our bushes...hooked them up to the Jeep and yanked 'em out!

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  8. Haha! "A supportive bush." I will be laughing about that all day.

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    Replies
    1. I have been giggling like a 6th grader all dern day at these comments!

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  9. Replies
    1. I also saw a peacock one, but went with the love bush instead.

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  10. AHH! The Edward Scissor Hands picture cracked me up! That would be very uncomfortable for sure!

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    Replies
    1. Oh, Mags. Be careful out there.
      Thanks for popping by!

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  11. Oh so true. Nothing like a good "puppy cut" to spruce up that unsightly bush.
    Got to keep up with the neighbors and keep everything in check!

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    1. Now, you are speaking to my competitive heart! Got to be the best bush on the block!
      You better watch it, because I am plotting to sneak into your garden with my camera. Get that bush tidy and ready for a close-up!

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  12. AMEN, sister! You know I'm a big proponent of curb appeal. There is no way in H-E-Double-Dildos anyone is going to pull up a lawn chair and sit for a spell if you don't have appealing foundation shrubbery.

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    Replies
    1. Foundation shrubbery! Love it. You can sit a spell on my lawn any dern day.

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  13. I snorted at the title and giggled through the rest. Funny!

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    Replies
    1. Snorting and bushes...interesting combo.

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  14. Oh... I get it.

    I thought you were going to be all serious, but judging from the photo on Yeah Write 53, I doubted it. Then the post seemed serious - LOVED "curb appeal" but then I got to the shapes and it was fabulous!

    WG

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    Replies
    1. Bush maintenance is serious business.

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  15. You crack me up! Very well do. Thanks for the morning giggle.

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  16. The heart shape made my day! I don't have the energy for that, but it's still funny.

    Thanks for the great advice.

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    1. The shape thing cracks me up...what next? Words...messages? "To the left."

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  17. This post brings back memories of my oldest son going all "Edward" on my Mom's bushes when he was a young 'un...thanks for the "tips" and starting my day with a smile.

    Hugs,
    Susan

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  18. So many bush options this year!!!

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  19. I'm peeing myself over here. My husband is seriously looking at me like I'm insane,...more than usual. Great post

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  20. Never trim your own shrubs !! Hire a pro!

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  21. HA! Great tips indeed... I may print this out as a visual aid when I began trimming. :)

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  22. I missed this the first read through...go back and read above the third pic. OMG.

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    Replies
    1. Oh my! you are dirty! I love that about you!

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  23. OmG I heart you and your bush(es). You've inspired me to get the clippers out.

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    Replies
    1. You love my bush post and I love your beaver posts! We are a match made in Heaven.

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    2. the beaver just loves a good POST in the bush!

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    3. Oh, JC. You are a naughty girl...and I love you!

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  24. I'm so relieved that the bush I thought I had killed with too much trimming has just sprouted new growth! Viva la spouts!

    Loved this far too much to be healthy.

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    Replies
    1. It's a fine line between manicured and mauled.

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  25. A perfect example of how bush shape and placement can frame a beautiful home! You are a master of the double entendre. Friggin' hilarious and informative at the same time. How do you do it?

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  26. I prefer my bush trimmed in the shape of a barnyard animal...
    go big or go home...

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  27. I prefer to have no bushes at all, to be honest with you.

    I mean that in all ways possible

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    Replies
    1. Oh, no. Bushes hide a multitude of sins.

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  28. Speaking for myself, I am just glad to discover the lovely spaces behind the bush, and am unswayed by the shape, presence or absence of any particular shrubbery. Also, bushes are work. And it NEVER STOPS. Once you trum the bushes, you notice the lawn's looking a bit overgrown. By the time you finish trimming your own yard, you see your neighbor and realize his back yard is overgrown. It's too much!

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    Replies
    1. Upkeep can be tricky and keeping up with those dern Jones's is a nightmare!

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  29. I hate to trim my bush(es) - I usually pay someone else to do it. Then they can clean up the mess too!

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    Replies
    1. A pro is the best option. Someone who knows her way around the garden.

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  30. I once overheard a conversation between an inebriated whore lying on the beach in Destin, Florida and her equally inebriated sugar daddy, who wore a white Speedo and a "rash guard", that she preferred trimming her initials in her bush. I was hoping her name wasn't Valerie or Velma or Vanessa, because a "V" in her bush makes it look like a superhero.

    Wait. Are we talking about bushes or vaginas? If vaginas, disregard my comment. The inebriated girl was totally talking about outside shrubbery.

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    Replies
    1. Initials are just tacky. Keep it simple, folks.

      Delete
  31. My favourite was definitely the "Brazilian Glory", but then I have got a very slim house.

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  32. On behalf of all men with a green thumb, I thank you for this PSA.

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  33. Lol! Well, when you think about it, trimming your bushes benefits everyone. Don't you feel better after all that hard work?

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    Replies
    1. It's a win/win situation, really.
      Thank you, Stacey.

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  34. I have never done gardening. My dad still tends a little plant collection in our apartment. But I couldn't keep a plant alive more than a month. Maybe the hubster drowned them with excessive water?

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  35. I'm afraid of the Brazilian Glory. It seems to have - tentacles - in the photo.
    You. Bad. Girl. - This was F-U-N-N-Y! As usual!

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    Replies
    1. The Brazilian Glory frightens me. I mean, reeeeeeally?

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  36. This is so funny! Don't forget that now trendsetting homeowners are using feathers to decorate their bushes.

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  37. How luxurious it would be to have a bush maze!!!!

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  38. O, man...that reference to Edward Scissorhands actually made me cringe in fear! Could you imagine? LOL!

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    Replies
    1. Did you see Susan's Scissorhands comment? THAT made me cringe in fear!

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  39. I'll let Johnny Depp trim my bush anytime.

    www.mamaandthecity.com

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    Replies
    1. Scissorhands killed any hawtness in my heart for JDepp.

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  40. I am with Pish on this one. Bushes require too much maintaining, and besides, my house needs to breathe and has mega curb appeal without (at least for a few more years).

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  41. LOL - I had my husband do the trimming the other day!

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  42. I'm absolutely rolling over the "supportive bush" comment.

    Might just have to share that when I talk a salon client out of getting a Brazilian Bikini Wax. "Don't wax...your bush needs to stay supportive!"

    All joking aside, your post was excellent. Here in upstate NY, we've been uncovering our shrubs from the burlap that protected them from hungry Deer all winter. Definitely some major bushcuts on the agenda!

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  43. You are veeeery clever. I see what you did there ;) I always fear the first bush removal of the year. After that maintenance isn't so... painful.

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    Replies
    1. I am a total procrastinator and whiner when it comes to bush maintenance.

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  44. You are too funny. Reminds me of one day at pool with my late 70-ish mum. We were visiting her in Florida and I hadn't had to worry about a suit for months. Well, mom surely let me know I needed to tidy up. First I had no clue what she was talking about....then Good Grief.

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    1. HAHAHAHAHA! I love your mum!
      I was worried that my mum would see this...then, realized it would be totally lost on her.
      I really love saying "mum" but it just doesn't sound right coming out of my mouth!
      Thank you for popping by!

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  45. Hysterical! "don't come here" - That line really made me laugh! came from Finding the Funny!

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    1. FINALLYYYYYYYYY! That was my favorite part and then....crickets....no one noticed!
      Thank you!!!!

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  46. I've always been a fan of the lightning-shaped trimmed bushes. I'd like to think people feel extra special when they get invited more than once. I can hear them now... "What? Lightning NEVER strikes twice. Must be my lucky day!" Don't you know it.

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    Replies
    1. Oh, yeah. Lightning bolt...
      I feel pretty...oh, so pretty.

      Delete
  47. For some reason this comment is showing up...and it cracked me up! Here ya go:

    Dude of The House has left a new comment on your post "Ladies, Trim Your Bushes!":

    Thanks for the Pubic Cervix Announcement. It was quite educational.

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  48. Love it! I'll be sure to show my step daughter (age 10) who is already asking about gardening! they start young!!

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  49. You know, it's time to mow the lawn as well. Because, you know, its summer, and time to wear shorts...in the backyard. And..you know, you don't want the grass to tickle your legs.....or your husband's legs.

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    1. Holy Chicky EWWWW! You better take care of that before the dance off!

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  50. There are very few blogs that deserve it, but I'm giving this one a very serious "LMAO." Fantastically entertaining. Thank you!

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  51. Dying. Seriously. Only you could take a perfectly innocent post about curb appeal and make it hilariously dirty.

    And personally? I prefer the modest bush that frames the rose.

    And so does my husband. :)

    (Love the new look, BTW!)

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    Replies
    1. I'm with you and your husband...but not in a creepy way.
      Thanks, Kristin!

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  52. It really is So important to keep up your curb appeal. Even when you've been living in the same house for years, and have no plans to move. Ahem.

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    1. You are wise, Greta. Curb appeal is very important.

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  53. Most clicked link at last week's party. Can't wait for tomorrow!

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  54. SAFETY WARNING....Make sure you know the bush you are trimming. A few years back I unknowingly started trimming away on a bush and ran into an "illicium floridanum", more commonly referred to as a 'stinkbush'. Should you own one of these bushes you will need to don the rubber gloves and gas mask before proceeding. Remember use appropriate safety gear when trimming any bushes!!!

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    Replies
    1. Oh, Bill. Trimming the stinky bush sounds just awful. Thank you for the PSA!

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  55. I had to come back and read this one again!!! So clever and the pics are awesome!! Love Bill's PSA!! I'll be sharing this with the hubby and girlfriends who are landscape enthusiasts!!

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    1. YAY! If any of your friends need bush advice, I am here for them.
      Thank you, Janis!

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