House TalkN is a fun lookiloo at houses, houses, houses. It will answer pressing questions like, "When folks build a McMansion on a small lot, what are they compensating for?" or "Was the real estate agent drunk when they staged this house?" or "Why don't the Smiths' ever leave their drapes open when I am on a harmless walk-by?"

Monday, December 2, 2013

Elf On The Shelf...Gone Wrong

*EOTS Update! I'm sharing the "EOTS for Mommy" In The Powder Room today!

Happy Holidays from the neighborhood mom office, aka The Moffice!
What started out as a simple Elf on the Shelf photo shoot, turned...um...naughty. 
The conversation quickly turned to our Polly Pocket sized pal and how cute she would be on a shelf. 
As these things go, one thing led to another and before you know it, I was taking a walk of shame.
Take a lookiloo at how far the Elf on a Shelf has fallen.



Photo credits: Karen "Elf Lover" Devine

Click here to check out more hilarious Elf Shaming posts. (If any of you are offended by this post, I will be blaming elfshaming.com)
To read two of the most hilarious EOTS posts ever, click here and here

Sharing my inappropriate elf with Baby Rabies HERE. 

52 comments:

  1. The JBF hair post-elf-coitus shots are HILARIOUS.

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    1. That EOTS has more talent than originally thought...
      Thanks, Allison!

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  2. Maybe this elf has a little more to "offer" than I previously believed. By the looks of your hair and the fact that you needed a smoke afterwards....impressive for such a little guy.

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    1. I take back everything I ever said about the EOTS...he's awesome.

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  3. Even the dog knows something is not right...

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    1. That cracked me up! The dog kept circling and whining! Something is very wrong in the moffice.
      Thanks for popping by, Barbara!

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  4. Love your friends pants! Are they gold?

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  5. The hair. It's all about your bedhead. This is fantastic.

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  6. The poor dog ~ I went to my next two meetings covered in dog hair from trying to provide some good mental health treatment for Pops

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    1. Poor Poppy. How did you explain the dog hair? "Well, there was this elf..."

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  7. I'm hyperventilating. From laughter. You dirty girl.

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    1. Hahaha! Making you laugh is high praise.
      Your favorite dirty girl.

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  8. I had nightmares about the adult elf on the shelf's facial expressions last night - CREEPY!!! I may be scarred for life.....

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    1. Lady Elf On A Shelf is the highlight of 2012! Thank you for playing photographer for the day!

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  9. The dog, that poor little girl on the shelf, your hair... oh gads, it's fabulous. I guess size doesn't matter, it's what you can do with it!

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    1. Lady EOTS is the highlight of 2012...although, she might never return to the moffice.

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  10. You are freaking HI-Larious. I love that I got the text of one of these pics first. That makes me happy happy.

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  11. Again proving the point that it's not the size that matters but what they do with it (although I don't want to know what that Elf does with it).

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  12. I immediately had concern/laughter at the dog's expression! Love your creative genius and your fearlessness!

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    1. Thank you, Erin! You get the "most supportive" award! I was actually nervous that this might be a tad...too far.

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  13. omg rofl rofl.. I needed this so bad, girl.. thank you

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  14. Ha! I love the way your mind malfunctions. Er, works.

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    1. As my therapist sister says, "Seek therapy immediately."
      Thanks, Honest One!

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  15. possibly the funniest EoTS i've seen, and you know you have a lot of stiff (heh heh) competition!

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    1. Stiff competition? I died!
      Thanks for popping by, Anna!

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  16. Oh you are too much. I think of the horror my children might experience someday if they ever see how we shamed our Elves at Christmas. I can hear it now 'Mom, you didn't really do that, did you?' LOL!

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    1. I'm saying a prayer that my children forget that I had a blog...Please, Lawd, let them forget.

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  17. Oh Kerry, I can always depend on you for the best laugh!

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    1. Thanks, Jane! I'm always here to make you giggle!

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  18. I said it before and I'll say it again, you have THE BEST friends! They are so much fun to go along with all your hilarious shenanigans. Please, for the LOVE, would you all just adopt me already? And thanks for the shout out! XO

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    1. I said it before and I'll say it again, MOVE HERE! We already all love you and you could learn to love us...right???

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  19. HaHA! Can you trademark that expression in the last two pics? Every time I see you make it, I can't help but laugh--so perfect and so YOU.

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    1. That is so funny because a pal just told me that I have a "WTF?" face...oops.
      Thanks, Meredith!

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  20. This is just hilarious! My kids would freak if they caught me acting like the Elf.

    We are doing 30 days of Elf on the Shelf. He left a ransom note the other day and took their xbox controllers. :)

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    1. Thanks, Crystal! I might have to give this whole EOTS thing a second chance. I would like him to confiscate some remote controls!

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  21. Oh no you did'ent! (Gotta get my elf out of his box, it's starting to stink in there and he won't stop screaming, LOL!)

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    1. Oh, yes I did! For the love of chocolate, free your elf!
      Thanks, Lisa!

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  22. Bwa hahahahaha! That is hilarious, love it!

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    1. Thanks, Jayne! We had so much fun! It was hard to keep a straight face!

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  23. Loved the pics, Kerry, but the Elf on the Shelf not so much. I think it's the eyes. They follow you EVERYWHERE. And he wears too much rouge!

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  24. The EOTS totally creeps me out! Great to see you here, Noelle!

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