House TalkN is a fun lookiloo at houses, houses, houses. It will answer pressing questions like, "When folks build a McMansion on a small lot, what are they compensating for?" or "Was the real estate agent drunk when they staged this house?" or "Why don't the Smiths' ever leave their drapes open when I am on a harmless walk-by?"

Thursday, March 7, 2013

A Mom, A Joyologist and A Streaker

Everything in life is a balance. Motherhood is no exception. 
Balancing my need to provide guidance, structure and love to my children while maintaining all the things that make me me, has been a balancing act. 
When I am harping on homework, bedtimes, and OMGBRUSHYOURTEETHALREADY, I still want to have a dance party in the kitchen. There is a time and a place for both sides. 
After a long night of harping, during bath time, my daughter ignored my crankiness and said, "When I grow up, I hope I am just like you and have friends just like yours." It stopped me in my tracks. While I was a cranky mess, my daughter was thinking of friendships and the life that she has before her. It made me so happy to remind her that she has already chosen great friends. I see the bond and the loyalty that she already has with her own sister and her own peeps.
My sister teases that I am SNL's "Joyologist!" I don't know if she meant that as a compliment, but I loved it. I do try to find joy in everything, in everyone. That doesn't mean that everything is always rainbows and unicorns around here. It just means that I try to be joyful, I try to live fully- whether it is fully joyful or fully fill in the blank.
I share a neighborhood mom office, The Moffice, with some of the greatest women on the planet. The Moffice is where we can say anything, ask anything and do anything. No judgements. 
But, here is the thing. I say a lot of crap that I don't mean. I'm a big talker. 
When I said, "If I get this blog sponsorship, I will run naked through the streets!" I didn't mean it. Just trash talk. That's what I do. 
Needless to say, when the sponsorship happened, my friends rejoiced with me. We danced. Butt slapping may or may not have been involved. 
And, then...my words came back to haunt me. "Streak! Streak! Streak!" My friends pulled out all the stops. They quoted scripture, they called me "chicken," they held me to my word. 
This is why I love them. This is why I hate them. They are my peeps. They are joyologists, too. Any chance to cackle, throw caution to the wind and escape the laundry, they jump. 
So...here you go. 




BodiBronze Sunless Spa credit for covering the cellulite
Photo credit and good sport awards go to Carissa Kemna

Just because we are mothers, just because we are on the PTA, just because we drive minivans, does not  change our need for fun. May we all still experience moments of wild abandon. Here's to hoping you still find time to march to your own drummer and have peeps that remind you to do it. 


Sharing my naked horrors today at:
Honest Mom
My Life And Kids

118 comments:

  1. OMG!!!!!!! You are a brave (hilarious) woman. The only way I would run or jump while naked is if doing so would directly save a life. And not just any life. Would have to be one of my kids. And your friend took FRONTAL PHOTOS!! I hope that's your camera she's using.

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    1. This is officially dedicated to you! My birthday suit is your birthday present!
      Thanks, Allison!

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  2. I'm giving you a virtual ass slap right now! Woot!

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  3. You are my hero .... I love it!!!!!! :)

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    Replies
    1. Uh-oh. You're in trouble, now. Thanks, Laurie!

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  4. What?! No video? Pffft. Nice Uggs.

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    1. Video has been destroyed. No one needs to see that.

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    2. I might have backup copy....

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    3. Jill, I'll email you with my address. Go ahead and slip that one right in the mail. I'll be waiting by the box.

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    4. Once received, I may just hold it hostage until you add Next Life, NO Kids to your blog list..ahem. ;)

      Delete
  5. Technically are you streaking if you're wearing a hat? I think you should do it AGAIN without the hat. In my neighborhood. With wine. Just sayin'
    Nice job!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Be careful what you ask for! Have wine, will travel!

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  6. Replies
    1. Thank you very much- BodiBronze to the rescue!

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  7. AHH YOU'RE NEKKED!!! What did the neighbors think? I love this, and I love you! And I love the ass I'm picturing behind that black square.

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    Replies
    1. NEKKED! That is a big black square...if that tells you anything. Thanks, Frugie!

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  8. You are awesome, covered in awesomesauce with an extra helping of awesomeness.

    And... you did it in the snow. Bet your headlights could be seen from space!

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  9. Wow. This makes your illegal tackle of me at last week's soccer game seem...well...rather tame..:) You rock it sister!!

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    Replies
    1. Tackling you was waaaaay warmer! Sorry about that.

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  10. Amazing! You are so awesome.

    But to have to say, your pictures made me cold. Holy hard nipples, batman.

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  11. You are freakin AWESOME!! I love the creepy van in the background too trying to get a lookiloo at you!

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    1. OMG! I didn't even notice that van between my legs!

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  12. My Heroine! You're mine. Or is that heroin? Anyways....I cannot get enough of ya....that includes nekkid :)

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    Replies
    1. No heroin was involved! HA! Thanks, Dharma!

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    2. OK, not heroin.....Valium for the onlookers? LOL

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  13. Everytime I hop over to your blog, I laugh and laugh!! This is fantastic! In fact, this is so me and my friends!! You go girl!

    Jenna @ http://rainonatinroof.com

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    1. It's official, then. Let's see you and your pals streaking!

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  14. That is HILARIOUS! You really are naked! For real? Did you have some panties on at least? NO PANTIES??? Oh, this is awesome stuff.

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    Replies
    1. I'll never tell. My pals are too traumatized to talk.

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  15. I hope nothing froze and fell off!! This is awesome!! The best friends are the ones who help you jump through hurdles and celebrate success- even sans clothes;) I love that your kids are learning by example what it's like to be a mom AND a person/woman.
    Vicky
    www.thepursuitofnormal.blogspot.com

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    1. I hope you didn't come here in the pursuit of normal! Thank you so much, Vicky!

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    2. Haha! I'm willing to look for it anywhere;) And I love your normal!
      Vicky

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  16. You totally got a spray tan before this, didn't you? You have some serious balls, I mean labs. Way to pony up.

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    1. Jill was quoting the book from your hubs! Apparently, my word is "impeccable!" Thanks, Mar!

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  17. OH MY GOSH. Naked, naked nude. You are one bad motha' and I love it!

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  18. That's why I love the skirts!! A team of joyologists!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Joyologists" can be our default team name! Go, Skirts!

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  19. Hahahahahaha! Ha! You are insane! No wonder you got that sponsorship, especially if they knew what you would do for it! Congrats! I would love to see a post on how you get a sponsorship! I am new to this and I don't have a freaking clue.

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    1. Thanks, Nicki! I just approach local businesses, give them my media kit and ask if they want to join the crazy!

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  20. oh wow!! That's just awesomely brave!! Congratulations on the sponsorship! You have amazing friends! :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My friends crack me up every.single.day. Thank you for popping by!

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  21. Is that Charles Street by any chance? If so, we're moving back ASAP!

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    Replies
    1. Oh, Dave! How I wish this was on Charles Street! Dare I say, if we move there, I'll give a repeat!

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  22. This is fantastic. And congrats on the sponsorship!

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  23. Oh my....I laughed so hard I cried! I LOVE this, I LOVE your blog!!! I found you through Rain on a Tin Roof...so GLAD I did!!!

    I am a wife, mom, preschool mom and drive an SUV...and I still NEED fun!!! Congrats on your sponsorship!

    Your newest fan!!

    Julie
    www.thevintagebarnhome.com

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    1. Hi, Julie! Welcome to Crazyland! So glad to hear that other moms are clinging to their fun side! Or, in my case, being haunted by my backside!
      Thank you!

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  24. Do it while you have the body LOL not like me when it's all sagging south LOL


    GOOD FOR YOU and your brave friend with the camera

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, I almost threw a hip out doing this jump! Thank you for popping by!

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  25. Replies
    1. I have plenty of crazy, fo' shizzle! Thanks, Lorraine!

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  26. Oh. My. Lord! When I saw the first picture with you in the coat, I thought you were going to be a "flasher" but oh, no, not Kerry...she "goes all. the. way!" I think the guys in the van are still talking about THAT morning. I want to grown up to be like you too!

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    1. HA! Oh, Miss Kitty. I wish you lived here to share the crazy!

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  27. Still crying from laughing so hard. What a great post!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My friends are still crying from the visual! Thank you!

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  28. takes all I have to get naked for a shower! kudos!!!

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    Replies
    1. Baby steps. 1st the shower, 91st you are streaking!

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  29. OMG. You are so fun!!!!! I'd be scared to death to jump while naked. This post is perfection. And the accompanying visual aids make it perfection plus, if that's possible.

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    Replies
    1. The jumps were frightening. I almost threw out a hip and knocked myself out with a boob. Thanks, Bethany!

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  30. So. Effing. Awesome. That is all. :D

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  31. Hi Kerry!!!!

    I could just imagine your old science teacher coming around the corner and seeing you. He probably said, 'OMG, I always knew that that Kerry would be up to no good!!'

    I can hear Ray Stevens singing, '...And they called it the streak. Look at that, look at that. The weirdest thing on two feet...'

    And Mrs. did you dye your hair. If this is old news...Sorry. February is a write off due to sickness in the house and I was too busy looking after the ills.

    After doing the 'Happy Dance,' did you jump in a nice hot tub/shower?

    Coming next week folks, Kerry is going to streak down Main Street!!

    Have a warm enjoyable weekend!!

    Pam
    xox

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's right! I kept looking around, fearing who would drive down my street!
      Thank you, Pam!

      Delete
  32. I can't believe you did it! That cracked me up! Congrats on the sponsorship - hope you didn't catch a nasty cold! Just wondering what did your husband say? Or does he know?!

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    Replies
    1. As usual, my husband just shook his head in disbelief! Thanks, Jaye!

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  33. I would have loved to have been driving by... HONKING MY HORN...
    Where are the frontal photos!!Oh....What will the neighbors think?!?
    You are a women of your word!

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    Replies
    1. I totally confiscated the full frontals! No one needs to witness that horror!

      Delete
  34. Amazing. You are amazing. This is indeed brave and funny, but, the sentiment of the post is really special. May we all have our coven of honest women who love the shit out of us. Great post, Kerry.

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    1. I am truly blessed with a coven of awesomesauce, kick ass women that includes you! Thank you, funny one!

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  35. Bravo!! The fact that you surround yourself with friends who will share in your joy & take pictures while you streak instead of run, hide & pretend they don't know you says a lot about you! I love it!!!

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    Replies
    1. HA! My neighborhood is crawling with crazy fun women. Thank you so much for chuckling with us!

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  36. I can't believe it took me so long to see this. Seriously gigantic mad props to you! I want to live in your fun neighborhood. I have no doubt I could talk my husband into it! ;)

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    Replies
    1. If I can do it, you can do it! Stop throwing your husband under the bus!
      Thanks, Amy!

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  37. you are sooo awesome, i love you did this snow-n-all!

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  38. Love that you march to the beat of your own drum! Thank you for reminding the rest of us to do the same.

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  39. OMG YOU ARE AWESOME!!! I love it!!!

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  40. How. did. I. miss. this?!?!!! Amazing. You're my hero, and a model joyologist!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. HA! I'm bringing Joyologist to a whole new level! Thanks, Kelly!

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  41. You are too funny and too tan for this time of year. Carrisa is one of the sweetest people on the planet.

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    1. I love Carissa, too! I'm just grateful that my offers to carry her around in a Baby Bjorne haven't scared her off! Thanks, Linda!

      Delete
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  43. You are hilarious, I want to borrow a little of your joyologist formula and someone took a frontal? Love you!!

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    1. I immediately confiscated the full frontal VIDEO! Thanks, Jessica!

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  44. You're in fabulous shape. Damn. I especially admire how well you've maintained your box. Mine use to sit high and tight like yours, but these days it's sagging around my knees.

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    1. Did you NOT notice how big my box is? It takes a village to cover that beast! Thanks, Ninja!

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  45. Omg. I LOVE you. The hat is such a nice touch as well.

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    Replies
    1. FINALLY! My blog let you comment! Just doing my part to put the "ass" in classy...literally!

      Delete
  46. You are awesome AND crazy, and mostly, as your daughter said, you are lucky to have such great friends! We all need people in our lives who love and support us for who we are.

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    1. That's right! I am blessed with awesome women in my life...although, they get me into trouble! Thanks, Jen!

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  47. I think your Sisterhood and our Sisterhood would get along smashingly. Woot woot to sponsorship! Ellen

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    1. Your sisterhood and my sisterhood are one in/and (?) the same! Big smoochies to you!

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  48. In the snow, no less! I'm inspired by your cajones. I can't even seem to walk around my bedroom in the buff, let alone run down a street with my palparazzi.

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    Replies
    1. It was quite nipply, fo' shizzle! Thanks, GJT!

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  49. Kerry, you are a nut! This is hilarious.

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    Replies
    1. HA! It's amazing that I have any friends left. More amazing that lawsuits aren't pending.
      Thanks, Kristin!

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  50. omg, DYING over here! You are HILARIOUS! and JOYFUL! and NAKED! I love love love the photo from The Help at the end of your post. Too funny!

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    1. I almost put Whoopy- "Guuurl, you naked." Thank you for sharing my naked horrors, Darcy!

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  51. Hysterical! Is there NOTHING you won't do for a laugh? Thank God the answer is NO!

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    Replies
    1. Making people laugh is my drug of choice! Thank you for laughing at/with me!

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  52. YOU... You are officially now my favorite person.

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    Replies
    1. HAHAHA! Thank you, funny one! Now, go bleach your eyes!

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  53. Lady, you got it ALL right; love and let fly!

    ReplyDelete

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