House TalkN is a fun lookiloo at houses, houses, houses. It will answer pressing questions like, "When folks build a McMansion on a small lot, what are they compensating for?" or "Was the real estate agent drunk when they staged this house?" or "Why don't the Smiths' ever leave their drapes open when I am on a harmless walk-by?"

Friday, August 30, 2013

Meet "The Skirts"

My name is Kerry and I am a soccer mom. 
And, a basketball mom.
And, a baseball mom.
Even though we have family basketball/baseball games, my sports life has shifted from playing team sports to cheering for my kid's team sports. 
Until...The Skirts! 
I didn't realize how much I missed being on a team until I joined an indoor soccer league. 
On the first night, my kids repeated to me what I have said to them before every sporting event of their lives: "H and H!" (Code for "happy and hustle!") 
The role reversal with our kiddos is a sight to behold. The sidelines are filled with children cheering for their moms and their mom's teammates. "Go get 'em, Mom!" and "GO, Mrs. Cochrane!"
I am so grateful that my girls get to see women fist bumping, playing hard, and working together. When there is an awesome play, I look across the field to catch my girl's eye. "Did you see that? Did you see how she used her strong body? Did you see that smart move?" 
When I see my girl make a similar play a few days later, when the roles have been reversed, I cheer for her from the sidelines and I think of The Skirts. They are more than a night out for me. They are a billboard for my girls...for the women they will become. 
"30 and Over! YOU CAN DO IT!"
When a match is over, my girls always ask, "Did you have fun?" 
I always answer, "I had a blast."

MEET...THE SKIRTS!
We all have busy lives. 
Some of us are teachers.
Some of us are coaches.
Some of us are nurses.
Some of us are stay at home moms.
Regardless of our 9-5 titles, we are teammates. 
We are The Skirts.
Some of us are wives.
Some of us are mothers.
Some of us are life long athletes.
Some of us are rookies.
Regardless of our experiences, we are teammates. 
We are The Skirts.
 
Check out this video of The Skirts!
Darrell Hoemann was given behind the scenes access to The Skirts at Soccer Planet and our post game celebrations at Huber's. Thank you to the very talented David Howie and Lou DiBello for original music!

How about you? Were you an athlete? Do you miss it? Do you still play a sport? 
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Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Snort Laughs and a Caption Contest!

I love a good snort laugh. I'm In The Powder Room today sharing a snort laugh that involved my 36Longs, a sister, a funeral and a couple of elderly farmers.
Also on the snort laugh front, this picture made me double snort laugh. The She Said Project featured Angie last week and when she submitted this picture from her birthday, I could not stop snorting!
I shared it with Ilana of Mommy Shorts and she is hosting a caption contest this week. I'll meet you there- let's hear your best caption! (There is a prize for the caption winner!)

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Monday, August 19, 2013

Bed and Breakfast Shenanigans

*I am rerunning this sister piece because I am sharing some of our whacky phone conversations In The Powder Room today. Meet me there and share your phone funnies.

A Sister's Trip!

We had soooo much fun....that we may not be asked to return...

The Carriage House

The Main House
The Rose Cottage

My sisters and I have a long history of entertaining (some Debbie Downers might say "embarrassing" or "mortifying") our mother.
She has come to accept our wild ruckus's, the dirty jokes, the loud rock and roll music and our very unladylike outbursts of opinions.
This "Sister Trip" was no different.
We came together from Illinois, Kentucky, Indiana, and Nevada for a long weekend at The Inn at Woodhaven Bed and Breakfast. (Louisville, Kentucky)
Taking my role as the "bossy sister" very seriously, I planned the trip. Our trips have usually included a beach or mountains or sometimes, both.
As we were barreling down the interstate, picking up sisters along the way, panic set in. I began to fear that I had made a huge mistake. 
Who goes to bed and breakfasts, anyway? 
What if we get stuck eating family style with Uncle Buck or Deliverance Danny? 
What if this lovely house is on crack street and doubles as a brothel?
I began to practice my excuses and tried to find ways to turn the blame on my unsuspecting sisters.
"Don't be so judgie - crack dealers are people, too."
"When you live in Nevada, you can't really complain about prostitutes in Kentucky!"
A wave of relief washed over me when we arrived to a lovely, historic and beautiful bed and breakfast in an equally lovely neighborhood.
Our fun moved from porch to porch, downstairs to upstairs, cottage to carriage house and back to the main house. We set eating records and laughed ourselves silly.
We had yet, another wild sister ruckus. Our mother sat shaking her head at our shenanigans and laughing all the way.

To see more lovely images or book your own visit, click here.






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Friday, August 16, 2013

A "Back To School" Party For Moms!

*Have your children gone back to school, yet?

My son said it best: "Going back to school is happy and sad at the same time. Sad that summer has ended but happy to start a new year."
Guess what, kid? I feel the same way.
Our neighborhood rocks summertime.
Our kiddos spend their summer in and out of each other's homes, running through sprinklers, cheering each other on at baseball games, hosting lemonade stands, and playing "Ghost in the Graveyard" at night.
My pals and I watch from front yard adirondacks or a sunroom or a front stoop. Whether we have been home all day or are just returning from "work", we usually find time for happy hour to chat for a bit.
Our dining rooms have been highjacked my small people in swimsuits:
BEFORE
 School started last week.
Yes, it was sad to see summer end.
Yes, we miss our little darlings.
Yes, we partied.
Here is a lookiloo at our "Back To School" tablescape...









AFTER 
 That's right. Not a sippy cup in sight and not once did I say "Don't put that up your nose, please."
(Dining room of gal pal and "Moffice-mate", Jill.)

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Thursday, August 15, 2013

We Get By With A Little Help From Our Friends

I had no idea that blogging would bring friendships to my life. How can friendships be formed without having coffee together? How can friendships be formed without knowing the sound of someone's laugh?
I was a skeptic. 
I was wrong.
I have an amazing tribe "in real life."
Now, I also have an amazing tribe in the blogosphere. We check in daily, we cheer in CAPITOL letters, and from our own little corners of the world, we rally for each other.
Today, our sweet blogging sister is burying her husband. Courtney (Our Small Moments) and her children lost Scott to cancer. Scott was 34.
Today, we rally for them. 
Today, we reach out in a small way to show solidarity for Courtney's family. 
Today, we take a swing at cancer.
Today, we show that Small Moments are big moments.
Here is how you can help, too. In Memory of Scott.

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Tuesday, August 13, 2013

My Name Is Kerry and I Was A Teenage Moron

Usually, when I think of my teenage years, I try to focus on memories that make me smile. Dirty Dancing, big hair, blue eyeshadow, The Go-Go's, or MC Hammer pants.
Sometimes, no matter how I hard I reach for my happy place called "denial," I remember my cringe-worthy moments. Sadly, there is no shortage of moronic moments. 
It's true. I was a moron. A big haired, blue eye shadowed, hammer pants wearing moron. 
Twenty years later and I still want to offer an apology to anyone that knew me during the moron years. 
I'm telling all about it In The Powder Room today. Help a sister out. Meet me there. Tell me your cringe worthy memory. 
I'll just be here...watching Dirty Dancing...writing letters of apology.
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Thursday, August 8, 2013

BIG Announcement: You Have Lipstick On Your Teeth!

When I am nervous, I morph into SNL's Mary Katherine Gallagher. "Sometimes, when I'm nervous, I put my fingers in my armpits and then I sniff them...like this!"
That is how I felt at 3am...and 4am...and 5am. I was squished between my husband, a child, a dog and my freakout. A good freakout but a freakout, nonetheless. 
Today is the launch of a new anthology, You Have Lipstick On Your Teeth. I cannot describe it better than the back cover of the book:
"Thank God for girlfriends and shared visits to powder rooms!
That’s always been the concept behind our website InThePowderRoom.com where we’ve been entertaining women with our humor and bold, brave honesty since 2009. Now we’re taking it to the next level with an anthology of original short stories from some of the wittiest women writers we know—stories they would only tell their closest friends, most likely from within the haven of a ladies’ room. Inside you’ll find 39 (mostly) true tales by women, for women, about being women—bodily changes, relationships, careers, motherhood, aging, illness, and more—written with the humor and grit that proudly sets In The Powder Room apart.
But be forewarned: we’re holding nothing back. We’re revealing our deep dark secrets—because it’s through our most vulnerable and honest moments that we forge the strongest connections and discover we aren’t so alone after all. 
You have a gimpy boob? Me too. You think glitter is the herpes of the craft world? Me too! You got your fishnet-clad leg stuck to your head on stage in front of thousands of people? Wait…what? OMG. Tell me everything! 
We are your friends, sisters, mothers, and daughters. Regardless of what life has dished up for you, chances are, we’ve been there and we can relate. We’ll help you laugh it off, or hold your hand until you’re ready to laugh again. 
And we promise: we’ll always tell you when you have lipstick on your teeth."

The author's page put me into full pit sniff mode. My name is there, between women that I adore and admire. These women make me snort laugh. My cup runneth over. Click here to see all of the contributors. 
Want a copy for your book club, fight club, garden club, or roller derby team? Click here!
I'll just be here...sniffing my pits.
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Wednesday, August 7, 2013

I Used To Be Normal.

*This is a re-run because I am sharing my dog crazy In The Powder Room today. Meet me there.

I have officially become the crazy dog lady.
I used to make fun of crazy pet people.
I talk in crazy dog speak.
I let my dog on the furniture.
I let the dog sleep with us.
I created a new category on my HOUSE blog called "DogTalkN!"
I send friends and family photo shows of.the.freaking.dog.
I am one step away from knitting matching sweaters for myself and the dog. The only thing holding me back is that whole knitting thing.
The doggie prince left muddy footprints on my white slipcover and while my children ran for cover, I ran for my camera. Must document each and every widdle cute thing he does. 
I used to be normal.
BEFORE DOG
So, it's only fitting that my first "Vlog" is of my dog, Big George.




AFTER DOG

I am now the person that makes you feel better about yourself. You're welcome.



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Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Have You Heard Of Shakey Face?

While out to eat with some of my favorite humor bloggers, Kim Bongiorno shared a gem with us. Her friend, Vanessa shared it with her and she shared it with us. Pay it forward, right?
It's called "Shakey Face." Here is my video tutorial on Shakey Face.

This is why I love these women so hard. They live to make other people laugh. They are not afraid of unflattering photos. Obviously.
Shakey Face made some look like porn stars, some look like stoners, some look drunky drunk, and some just looked...well, see mine.
Rebecca of Frugalista Blog
Keesha of Mom's New Stage
Leslie of The Bearded Iris
Kerry of HouseTalkN, that's me.
I feel pretty. Oh, so pretty. 
I showed you mine, will you show me yours? Shake what your mama gave you, take a picture and share your own shakey face!
Please share it on my facebook page HERE.

This post made possible by my moffice-mate, in support of International Breast Milk Project.

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Monday, August 5, 2013

Top Comebacks When Jerks Criticize Public Breastfeeding


*I originally posted this on Scary Mommy. It has been modified (to PG13) for HouseTalkN!

I was in a lactating coma for 6 years. No, I did not nurse a child into elementary school. I popped out four babies in 5 years. 
I was on such a hormonal roller coaster that I could never come up with witty comebacks to jerks who made comments about public breastfeeding. When a passerby offered “Why don’t you try that at home?” I could only muster, “Why don’t you go $%^# yourself?” The emotional pendulum swung and I started sobbing to complete strangers, “I just said the F word in front of my baby!”
Now that I am out of the estrogen fog, I’d like to offer these comebacks to breastfeeding moms.
Top Comebacks When Jerks Criticize Public Breastfeeding
1. If you can use boobs to sell beer and cars, I can use mine as a buffet.
2. Do you eat your meal while sitting on the john?
3. That’s a great idea. You can borrow my blanket to put over your head.
4. Sorry to burst your bubble. Boobs are more than recreational fun.
4. Thank goodness you have a neck. Look away! LOOK AWAY!
5. Nursing is easier for me. I can’t hold a bottle and my wine glass at the same time!
6. It was an accident. I was just holding my baby when my 36Longs fell into his mouth! My bad!
7. If you are fishing for a snack, just wait your turn.
8. If you think this is gross, you should have seen the placenta. Oh, wait. I have pictures.
9. Trust me. No one is more horrified by my giant areola than me. 

If you are currently in a lactating coma, breathe in and out. Then, practice these comeback lines. Memorize them. Being a good mother means being prepared for anything…especially, when jerks attack.


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Thursday, August 1, 2013

Networking Tips For Professionals and a BlogHer BlogHop!

One of the highlights of attending the BlogHer Conference was time spent yucking it up with funny ladies Anna of My Life & Kids and Katy of Katy in a Corner. We (ok, Katy did all the work) put together a little vlog- Networking Tips For Professionals!


Did you go to BlogHer? Are your loved ones sick of hearing about it? We are here for you! 
This is a BlogHop for those of us who are still talking about it! I apologize to those of you that have smiled and nodded this week- my husband, friends, mailman, neighbors, and dentist. I promise to stop talking about BlogHer...right after this BlogHop!
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