House TalkN is a fun lookiloo at houses, houses, houses. It will answer pressing questions like, "When folks build a McMansion on a small lot, what are they compensating for?" or "Was the real estate agent drunk when they staged this house?" or "Why don't the Smiths' ever leave their drapes open when I am on a harmless walk-by?"

Friday, January 31, 2014

Blind Date Horror Stories

My younger sister never lets me forget some of the frogs I dated. There were some doozies, I admit it. But, there was one date that goes down in history as the worst, most cringe-worthy of them all. It took 21 years but I can finally laugh about it. 
I'm In The Powder Room today sharing my blind date horrors. Don't judge, you know you have a story to tell. Tell it.
How I feel about blind dates:

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Tuesday, January 28, 2014

A Kitchen Makeover Between Friends

JUMP FOR JOY! The kitchen remodel is finished!
Let's celebrate!
The women in my neighborhood formed a mom office, the MOFFICE! We bring our laptops and spend our days working together. We all have different jobs and different skill sets but working from home can be lonely gig. The moffice was born. 
One of our mofficemates is a designer (Meet Karen Devine) so when we started dreaming of a kitchen makeover for the moffice host, we had a built in expert. 

*It's a beautiful thing to be part of a remodel when it is someone else's house. We get to weigh in on all the purdy stuff while someone else lives through the chaos!
I found this "before" picture from our appliance repair shenanigans.
Even though it was hectic, we still took time for some fun. We even forced included the contractor for our "Bringing Back the Dickie" shenanigans.
If you have lived through a kitchen remodel, you know how chaotic life becomes!
Let's take a lookiloo at the new kitchen, shall we?
Please don't tell Jill that I shared this picture. But, this is how we roll. You can find us working in our yoga pants, sitting on the countertops, and holding meetings on the kitchen floor. It's a beautiful thing.
 Is this genius or what? 
Oops, I dribbled cake crumbs on the floor. No biggie...
 I may or may not have drooled on the new countertops...
 Hello, coffee station. Where have you been all my life?
 I love this cart. We can roll it out for a booze caddy lunch buffet or roll it away for a dance party.
Got ice?
Sometimes, I forget that this isn't actually my kitchen. It is a family friendly haven for the Youse family. Everything is easily accessible and easy to use. It was so fun to watch Karen's genius as she made the kitchen dream a reality.
 During these cold days and the endless school cancellations, this kitchen has come to include more than our mofficemates. Our children have set up camp and they are forming their own mini moffice. Stories are being written, big plans are being made and great adventures are being had by all. 

I love this wall of hidden treasures. It makes my OCD heart sing. Everything is tucked away in it's designated spot. 
Big love to Jill for giving the moffice a home and for letting me share the kitchen remodel! 

Link Par-taaay at:
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Tuesday, January 21, 2014

I'm Coming Clean About My Affair...

I've been smug. I said it could never happen to me. I was so wrong and now I am eating my words. To add insult to injury, I can't seem to stop. 
I'm spilling the beans In The Powder Room today. Meet me there and hold my hand. 
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Monday, January 20, 2014

Getting My Healthy On With Strawberry Fields Natural Food Store

Sometimes, I forget how I look to the outside world. Remember the last time I was at Strawberry Fields Natural Food Store? My bad.

With a new year's resolution to eat healthier, I went back to Strawberry Fields. Strawberry Fields consistently offers healthy options for all diets. 
Gluten free? Got ya covered. 
Vegan? Got ya covered. 
Vegetarian? Got ya covered. 
Everything in between? Got ya covered.
 I was in a rush and didn't seek out the manager to explain why I would be taking photographs. I didn't stop to think that it might appear odd to find a woman hunched over the produce, taking pictures of the goods. 
It didn't help that I was repeating, "bok choy, bok chooooooy." I can't explain why, but I love to say, "bok choy." Kind of like saying, "behoove," it is just one of those things that brings me joy to say.

I was pulled from my "bok choy" funfest by an employee. "May I help you?" She was smiling and friendly and didn't show one ounce of "Dude, why are you hovering over the produce, repeating BOK CHOY!? Step away slowly. Do I need to call security?"
I explained that I was taking pictures for my blog and that Strawberry Fields is one of my sponsors. I may or may not have rambled about the joys of saying "bok choy."
Moving from the produce, I swooned over the coffee selections.
Similar to the children's book, If You Give A Mouse A Cookie, one thing led to another. If you give me produce, I might feel like I need a caffeinated reward. 
If you give me a cup of coffee, I might need a little something sweet on the side. 

 If you give me one cupcake, you might as well give me two.
 My new year's resolution to eat healthier is made possible by Strawberry Fields. If I must eat a cupcake, it is healthier to eat a vegan cupcake, right? I am pretty sure that if you eat bok choy first, the cupcake doesn't count against you. Fact. 

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Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Let's Blame Winter, Shall We?

I like to think that no problem is too big to blame on others. My husband can tell you that I can turn the blame around faster than a cheating politician. 
Taking my cues from skanky politicians, I use a few of their tricks.
1. Make sad, pitiful faces and look all victim-y. "I am just torn up about this."
2. Be strong in your denials, no matter how large the evidence. "!"
3. Turn the tables. "If you hadn't -----, we wouldn't be in this position."
4. Wave a shiny object to distract from the issue. "I think I'm pregnant."
5. Blaming your childhood is always a good time. "My mother never let me -----."
Sadly, I have overused these approaches and they don't pack the punch they used to. I had to dig deep for some new tactics.
I have been a total sloth this winter. I have let my responsibilities slide. Instead of owning up to my behavior, I played the "winter card." 
"Winter is killing me."
"It was too cold to go to the store. You don't want me to get frostbite, do you? DO YOU?!?"
"I didn't get to the laundry because it is so gray outside. It's a thing. For real."
"I haven't shaved because I am winterizing all the things."
I'm playing the blame game In The Powder Room. Come join the fun. Because, blaming others is always fun.

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Tuesday, January 7, 2014

The Make-up Breakup of 2014

With my 5,492 holiday Amazon orders, this little gem was included.
When I explained to Amazon that I had not ordered the Dazzle Stick, they told me to keep it. I was so excited to try out my free Dazzle Stick mix up. 
I couldn't wait to show off my new lip gloss to make-up guru at Frugalista Blog! "Lip glass is fancy," she said. "Lip gloss is the icing on the cake," she said.
If a little is good, a lot must be better. I loaded up my smackers with the Dazzle Stick.
Wait...this doesn't look right. 
Wait...this doesn't feel right. 
Maybe this is what a limp plumper is? Are my lips supposed to be tingling? Is the gloss supposed to look like toothpaste remnants?
Maybe I did it wrong. 
As usual, I read the instructions after the fact.
Apparently, the Dazzle Stick is for DIAMONDS! It says so right big letters for all to see.
I had slathered my lips in diamond cleaner.
Meet me In The Powder Room today and share your make-up fiascos. In the mean time, I am breaking up with make-up.
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Monday, January 6, 2014

Ayers Repairs Company To The Rescue!

It takes a village to keep the moffice running, yo. 
You might think it's all fun but when a furnace goes out or the dishwasher doesn't work, we freak our freak. 
Who you gonna call? AYERS REPAIRS!
Steve Ayers and his son are the angels that run Ayers Repairs Company. When my furnace doo-hickey thingy broke? I freaked my freak. Steve and son to the rescue!
They are appliance gurus- just name the appliance and they can fix it. 
More importantly, nothing shakes them. Not dogs, not crazy moffice-mates or freaking their freak homeowners. 

Steve pointed out that it is important to maintain your appliances so that you aren't in a pickle when it is -11. Oops, my bad. 
Even if you (like me!) call when you are in a pickle, Steve and his son will save your bacon...with a smile.
Keep warm, don't freak your freak and call Ayers Repairs if you are in a pickle.
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